XPoetiX

 MALICE

   THE MURDEROUS RAGE
      OF LOVE'S BETRAYAL,
        KNOWS NO ABSOLUTES.

    NO "YES, I WILL"
         OR
       "NO, I WON'T"
    NO "YES, YOU MAY"
         OR
       "NO, YOU DON'T.

            ALL IT KNOWS
    IS PASSION YEARNING.
            A GRIEF OF LOSS,
    AND LOVE STILL YEARNING.

      IT WON'T BEGIN,
         AND,
      IT WON'T END.
      IT DON'T BREAK,
         AND,
      IT DON'T MEND.

       ALL IT FEELS,
     IS A JUDAS KISS.
   A FLASH THROUGH TIME,
    OF A STOLEN BLISS...

   THE ABSOLUTE RAGE
      OF LOVE'S BETRAYAL;
        GROWS EVER MURDEROUS....


      C.1999 ORPHAN X.
      Michael Valentino-LaTraviato 

 A Day In The Life...

Cast-Iron pan
slams against my head.
How many times,
before I end up dead?.
Ever reminded,
of what i deserved.
Time and again,
a punishment reserved.

Dishes not done,
to utmost perfection,
chores not passing
a white glove inspection.
My little body,
slammed into walls.
By my hair,
dragged down the halls.

It's 3 a.m.;
I try to find sleep.
If I dare,
it will not be deep.
For I know,
surely they'll come.
Waking me up,
for some chore undone.

If I cry
without permission.
I will pay,
beaten into submission.
Few small words,
am I allowed to speak.
Made to be,
always ever so meek.

New little tales,
will I have to tell.
If they ask,
once again "I fell".
This is life
as I had to live it.
Hear my story
for i have to give it.

The first idea
the State had then had;
left me so lost,
with people so mad.
It is over,
so I thank my God.
He spared this child,
by spoiling their rod.

c.1998 Orphan X.
Michael Valentino-LaTraviato

Oh Yes, it is true.
I suffered through it. I had
no choice. I have no idea how
I did so, I only know that I
suffer the physical and mental
scars of a survivor of a hell
on earth, that so often happens
here in this world, yet we so
rarely ever hear about.
I am one of many…
MVLT2005



Tales & Lullabyes...


    With a broken heart
    & tear stained eyes.
    Time and time again,
    I heard all the lies...

  "With good luck, we'll find a home;
   one You'll call, Your very own..."

    As time moved along,
    I soon came to see;
    they would never find
    a real home for me...

  "We are all doing, all that we can;
   just you hold on, our dear little man..."

    They always gave excuses,
    with a smiling face.
    As I moved on along
    to yet some other place...

  "A little to young, a little to old.
   a bit to big, for them to hold..."

    Days became weeks,
    weeks turned into months.
    Nothing ever came from
    all these family hunts.

  "Keep your chin up boy, don't lose that smile.
   Never lose the hope, it always takes awhile..."

    A good little boy,
    barely made a sound;
    yet, not for me,
    would a home be found.

  "We are all so sorry, that it all fell through;
   what can we say, there is nothing we can do..."

    With a broken heart
    and tear stained eyes;
    I just was not wanted,
    I would soon realize.

  "We all wish you luck, out there on your own.
   we cannot keep you here, now that you are grown..."

    So out into this world,
    so quickly was I thrust;
    How can I survive here,
    who shall I now trust?

  "We did not lie, it truly wasn't you.
   surely we all did, all we could ever do..."

    That they sure did,
    oh, and so much more.
    Another full grown CHILD,
    pushed right out their door… 

  c.1998 Orphan X. 



Memories of Home

Vacant stares
& lonely eyes,
mumbled words
& orphan's cries.
Sterile halls
& dusty files,
Forgotten lies
& jaded smiles.
Dated food
& silent frowns,
Tattered toys
& hand-me-downs.

These are things
You'll never see,
but will always
stay with me.
These the things
that made my past.
Memories of Home,
forever they last. 
c.1999 Orphan X. 

Summer's Corner


I look at the corner again,
it's been now 62 days.
My knees are so tired now,
& the hurt-it just stays.
I should have done better,
cuz You told me so.
I did bad on purpose.
So, You say You know.

My summer is past now.
One that I didn't earn.
But, hey, maybe next summer.
This lesson will I learn.
Or, maybe I'll fail again,
cuz you're so sure I will.
So I must fumble on along,
Your words to fulfill.

You've taken the toys.
went and hid them someplace.
I watched as you took them,
with that snide grin on your face.
It really doesn't matter,
I couldn't touch them anyway.
I only saw them from afar,
ever since that last X-mas day.

Well,
I see the summer's passed,
I hope to try once again.
between this corner and me,
what a summer it's been.
I look to the floor again,
it's been now 62 days.
my heart is so tired now,
& the pain-it just stays.

c.1997 Orphan X.

This poem is dedicated to the summer I lost, on my knees in the corner every day for the whole 62 days of a kid's summer break from school. All for the lack of full A's on my report card. It was a long, hard, hot summer, One I will never forget. my adopted parents were sick, evil people. Forgiveness for them, is surely not nigh.

 Micheal Valentino-LaTraviato 

 Sands

   The burning sting of leather,
    the welts left behind.
   The pleas for "mercy, please",
   fill the air...declined.
       The cutting of the wire,
       blood falls from my wrists.
       The dodging of the lashes,
       as my body turns and twists.
    The taunting words of hate,
    scarring my ravaged soul.
    These lies of my demise,
    from a heart of coal.
        The raping of my young body,
        without even slightest care.
        The only love for me,
        just a glazed and vacant stare.
    The pulling of my hair,
    dragging me all around.
    the begging and the pleading,
    are just unanswered sound.
        The tumbles down the stairs,
        aided by their cruel hand.
        The humbling of my spirit,
        I'll never quite understand.
     These days of my life,
     lived this way all along...
     The sands in my mind's hourglass,
     slipped slowly on and on...

       c.1998 Orphan X.
       Michael Valentino  

Summer's Corner


I look at the corner again,
it's been now 62 days.
My knees are so tired now,
& the hurt-it just stays.
I should have done better,
cuz You told me so.
I did bad on purpose.
So, You say You know.

My summer is past now.
One that I didn't earn.
But, hey, maybe next summer.
This lesson will I learn.
Or, maybe I'll fail again,
cuz you're so sure I will.
So I must fumble on along,
Your words to fulfill.

You've taken the toys.
went and hid them someplace.
I watched as you took them,
with that snide grin on your face.
It really doesn't matter,
I couldn't touch them anyway.
I only saw them from afar,
ever since that last X-mas day.

Well,
I see the summer's passed,
I hope to try once again.
between this corner and me,
what a summer it's been.
I look to the floor again,
it's been now 62 days.
my heart is so tired now,
& the pain-it just stays.

c.1997 Orphan X.

M. Valentino-LaTraviato

This poem is dedicated to the summer I lost, on my knees in the corner every day for the whole 62 days of a kid's summer break from school. All for the lack of full A's on my report card. It was a long, hard, hot summer, One I will never forget. my adopted parents were sick, evil people. Forgiveness for them, is surely not nigh.
 Micheal Valentino-LaTraviato 

 One Sunny Day...

    One sunny day,
    one the seedy side of town;
    here's a little story
    about what went down.
    Life passes quickly,
    on the cold city streets,
    between the crooks and the killers
    and the cops on the beat.
    Life passes quickly
    on the seedy side of town;
    between the crooks and the killers,
    this is what went down......
        The beating sun, cast a glare.
        the slightest breeze, hung in the air.
        I had a Lucky strike, and a frozen Coke.
        I lit me a match, to light my smoke.
        As I inhaled, i cast my gaze,
        Time stood still, the rest a haze.
        As an Oldsmobile, or a Cadillac;
        Maybe blue, or maybe black,
        Crept on up, then sped on past.
        leavin' the sudden shriek
         of a gunfire blast.
        and the sulfured scent
         of fired rounds,
        as the cold smell
         of fear abounds.....
        I pulled my piece, to fire back.
        To fight against this sneak attack.
        Yet, I drew to late, to take my aim,
        for they we're gone, quick as they came.
        I looked around in my distress,
        Made my way into this mess;
        Then I saw what lie ahead...
        The body there, lying dead
        in a crimson pool and a scarlet stain.
        The moment's lost, in a moment's pain
        from this memory, I cannot hide;
        For as I watched...
        My Father died......
    One Sunny Day, on the seedy side of town,
    here's a little story about what went down.
    Life passes quickly on the cold city streets.
    Between the crooks and the killers,
    and the coppers on their beats.
    Life passes quickly,
    On the seedy side of town.
    Between the crooks and the killers ...
    that is what went down....

    c. 1998/2002 Orphan X.
    Michael Valentino-LaTraviato

    In dedicazione to Padre Mio.
    You have been duly avenged.
    Sangue Lave Sangue, PaPa!!! 

 "ANNIE"

Annie;
  I saw You down on Broadway,
  everybody knows Your name.
  The rest of us must wonder,
  are You still the same?
                   Annie?

Annie;
  They've made You so famous.
  Queen of all the Orphans.
  Oh, how they applaud You,
  and forget us other urchins.
                   Annie?

Annie;
  Big Daddy made You rich,
  gives You his love and trust.
  Now that You're so lucky,
  have You just forgotten us?
                   Annie?

Annie;
  Now Your life is grand,
  You're happy as can be.
  One simple thing I ask,
  Do You still remember me?
                   Annie?

Annie;
  As You wander room to room
  down Your mansion's hall;
  how often do You think
  of the rest of us at all?
                   Annie?

Annie;
  While Your sun has shone,
  through Your clouds of sorrow;
  We wonder still and wait...
  If we'll make it til tomorrow
                   Annie?

c.1999 Orphan X.
Michael Valentino-LaTraviato

Annie, if You are out there, we still think of You. 

Dedicated to Rose. 

Spare Change

Kids for sale,
all colors and kinds.
All so sweet,
such perfect finds.
Will do all,
you tell them to.
All they want,
is love from You.
Take away two,
or just take one.
Make your choice,
a deal can be done.
They come alone,
or with a brother.
Don't like one,
just choose another.

Kids for sale,
all shapes and sizes.
All so sweet,
so full of surprises.
They will be,
all that you want.
Pick any one,
that you wish to flaunt.
Tell Your friends,
as there's always more.
Send them on down,
to our orphan store.
Surely you need
a good little boy.
Or maybe a girl,
to use and destroy.

Kids for sale,
all alone and lost.
We move 'em out,
whatever the cost.

c.1998 Orphan X.
Michael Valentino-LaTraviato

It is so hard when You are in
line awaiting adoption. It feels
like You are on display for all to
see and buy, like a toy. As it turned
out, I was sold into that kind of hell,
by the very state that swore to protect me. 

MVLT20.05 


 Mommy?


Hey there world,
  it's just lil ole me...
( I )
I'm comin' on out,
to have a peek see.
You pulled me out Doc,
 why You slappin' me?
Is that You Mommy,
 who's now holding me?
My eyes are still blurry,
 and i cannot yet see.
( II )
This first year is passin',
 everything is brand new.
It feels so good now,
 cuz, i can always see you.
I always light up,
 when I see your smile.
Then i get so sad,
 cuz it's only once in a while.
( III )
I know i keep ya busy,
 and I'm kindof a pain.
Always needing something,
 driving You so insane.
I wish I was full grown,
 and could crawl all around.
Then I'd get all I needed,
 and never make a sound.
( IV )
I wish I could help You,
 when he gets so mad.
When I hear those slaps,
 it makes me so sad.
I try to be really still,
 and try so not to cry;
Cuz then he hurts You more,
so, i really really try.
( V )
When You look down at me,
 and I look up at you;
I can barely see your eyes,
 through the black and blue.
As a blood drop falls
 from your lip to my face;
I hear you promise me,
"We'll get out of this place".
( VI )
And then one day,
 after he'd long gone;
You stood there above me,
 and sang a sweet song.
Then you tell me softly
 You're removing me from harm;
You wrap me in a blanket,
 and cradle me in Your arm.
( VII )
The sun was so bright,
 what a beautiful sky.
That's what I was thinkin',
 When you kissed me G'bye.
I heard you walk away,
 but just knew you were around,
i knew not the meaning
 of that church bell chime sound.
( Finale )
Hey there Mommy,
 Oh, it's just me.
it's not even a year yet,
 why are you leaving me.
There's 17 more to go;
 I'll be real good You'll see.
Please answer my cries,
 Please Mommy, Don't leave me...

c.2000/rev2005 Orphan X.
M. Valentino-LaTraviato
       

 HA!

the belt slices the air
with a cruel and cutting hiss;
falling upon my welted flesh,
a coldest devil's kiss.
I feel my body shudder,
it does involuntarily.
I beg for Your mercy,
as You smile on merrily.
Moving like a machine,
Your belt cuts my lip.
Oh, with such precision
do You wield Your whip.
The blood within the air,
hangs heavy and thick;
once again, it's salty taste
nearly makes me sick.
This full force of Your rage
with methodical dispensation;
grants me full understanding,
of terror's full sensation.
But, of course, You know this;
which is why You do it.
It must really make You mad,
how well I suffer through it.

c.2000 Orphan X. 

 The Wisdom of a Child...

Well, I prefer the belt,
      it's got a better sting;
      think of all the screams
      & the pain it will bring.
       Or;
      You could use that cord,
      it leaves welts upon welts.
      But, it doesn't hurt me,
      as much as Your belts.
    Oh..;
      There is a big stick,
      what marks it could make.
      tho, how You beat on me,
      surely it would break.
        Hey;
      what about that hose?,
      You've used it before.
      I guess it couldn't hurt,
      if You used it once more.
   My, what a dilemma
       we've gotten into.
       This my daily ritual,
       being beaten by You.

     c.2000 Orphan X.

 Just Another Crucifixion

Your verbal crown of thorns
digs deeper into my head.
All those taunting words,
I remember all You'd said.
This cross on my shoulder,
I'll carry to my grave.
If God would not stop You,
then me, he will not save.
Words as nails, pierce my flesh,
as you pound them through.
While I curse this agony,
much greater, I curse You.
You mock all my struggles,
belittling all my cries;
beating me down even more,
with the whip of your lies.
You take me off Your cross,
as the day meets it's end.
Then just leave me laying there,
on my own, to somehow mend.

 This daily crucifixion,
 is my personal calvary.
 Like Christ, I ask of God...
"Why hast thou forsaken me?"

c.2000 Orphan X.
M. Valentino-LaTraviato 

This I Do...


  This i do
in remembrance of You.
so hating myself.
as You taught me to do.
This i feel,
it's all i've ever known.
Hurting myself
it was all i was shown.
  This I hate
in defiance of you.
Despising life,
and all it put me through
  This I do
in remembrance of you...
Hating You
as you showed me to.

c.1998 Orphan X.

Is This Love???

the room is dark.
shade pulled down tight.
i lay awake again,
to pass another night.
every tiniest sound,
causes me to shake.
wonderin' how long
tonight's hell will take.
blanket to my chin,
as still as i can be.
a silent prayer to god,
as he ignores my plea.

laying on my side.
back against the wall.
to afraid to hide,
i hear you in the hall.
i make not a sound.
eyes wide open, pleading.
while my body prepares
for another heartless beating.
it seems like forever;
the sound of the door.
i see it open slightly,
then a little more.

all the darkness shatters,
as i greet your stare,
again i must pretend,
you are not even there.
the evil in your eyes,
that cruel demon's face;
let's me know again,
i'll be put in my place.
oh, you say you love me.
i guess i love you too;
because i cannot wait,
til i can beat on you.

c.1999-2000 Orphan X.

 JUDAS

Everywhere I look, there you are.
Another smiling happy face;
there beside me,
always beside me.
Judas...

Whenever I awake, I always see you.
Another simple, lover's charm;
there you are,
you always are.
Judas...

Whatever you do, I survive it.
Another silent, promise broken;
there is one,
always just one.
Judas...

Anywhere you go, I find you.
Another list, of several;
there's your name,
always your name.
Judas...

c.1998 Orphan X.


This is dedicated to all the 2 faced
bastards in the world;
You are never forgotten…
mvlt2005

 Tales & Lullabyes...

    With a broken heart
    & tear stained eyes.
    Time and time again,
    I heard all the lies...

  "With good luck, we'll find a home;
   one You'll call, Your very own..."

    As time moved along,
    I soon came to see;
    they would never find
    a real home for me...

  "We are all doing, all that we can;
   just you hold on, our dear little man..."

    They always gave excuses,
    with a smiling face.
    As I moved on along
    to yet some other place...

  "A little to young, a little to old.
   a bit to big, for them to hold..."

    Days became weeks,
    weeks turned into months.
    Nothing ever came from
    all these family hunts.

  "Keep your chin up boy, don't lose that smile.
   Never lose the hope, it always takes awhile..."

    A good little boy,
    barely made a sound;
    yet, not for me,
    would a home be found.

  "We are all so sorry, that it all fell through;
   what can we say, there is nothing we can do..."

    With a broken heart
    and tear stained eyes;
    I just was not wanted,
    I would soon realize.

  "We all wish you luck, out there on your own.
   we cannot keep you here, now that you are grown..."

    So out into this world,
    so quickly was I thrust;
    How can I survive here,
    who shall I now trust?

  "We did not lie, it truly wasn't you.
   surely we all did, all we could ever do..."

    That they sure did,
    oh, and so much more.
    Another full grown CHILD,
    pushed right out their door...

   c.1998 Orphan X.

That is all for now!!!!!!

Peace!!!!

Detroit Jones